How do you do this? Put me down or you will suffer the consequences. Prioritizing giving over receiving may be a . In fact, you might feel "shy", "corny", "dumb", or even "ridiculous" when someone compliments you. Complimenting yourself offers many advantages in the long-run. You smile more. The best way to respond is to accept it with grace when it comes to showing mercy or giving back if it isn't. But don't try to distract or insult the incoming message. Accept a compliment, even if you feel uncomfortable. This is where someone gives you a compliment and you dismiss it by saying something that gives their compliment less value. Following the right etiquette is extremely important if you want to become more feminine, so make sure to practice receiving compliments the right way. If receiving a compliment makes you uncomfortable, you aren't alone. Yet, learning to do so graciously can enhance your executive presence and relationships with others. I don't know why but it makes me feel really weird. Here are five ways to respond to compliments more gracefully. People with it can really struggle with both giving and getting compliments. If you think of something nice, say it. "I am sensing something in me freezes and goes numb when I'm offered a compliment .". Answer (1 of 10): > How do guys feel about receiving compliments? Norihiro Sadata, one of the study authors, said in a statement, "To the brain, receiving a compliment is as much a social reward as being rewarded money. Luck Be Sincere While it may seem harmless to pay someone an insincere compliment with good intentions, it can actually do more damage. When men receive compliments, we feel special. Frankly speaking I compliment others when I genuinely feel the other person needs to be appreciated for his/ her good qualities. This leads to a vicious . TWO. Whether we're talking about eating a delicious fruit or making a salad: these are all mother nature's gifts. Receiving creates a moment of connection. If your compliment is rejected or deflected, don't take it personally! Take some time to sense that part of you. "It takes both sun and rain for a flower to grow.". Additionally, if you love receiving compliments, please share in the comments what have been the best compliments you've received to date. When it comes to giving compliments, make. Don't expect a compliment in return. There are few things in life as instantly mood-boosting as being complimented. They may cast off kind words about themselves because they don't feel worthy of getting them. Alternatively, if it's not so nice, keep it to yourself. Receive from Mother Nature. A bit embarrassed to have the spotlight on me, but I would smile and say "Thank you!" 161 votes, 141 comments. As I was leaving the office last night, I told a . Disagreement Disagreement when we receive a compliment is when we very politely disagree with the person giving the compliment. ONE. Yeah, I'm right behind you. The reason to do this is so you have a relationship with the part of you that freezes and goes numb. You look great, and you are doing . We've been able to find scientific proof that a person performs better when they receive a social reward after completing an . We use cookies to provide you with a great experience and to help our website run effectively. 3. Researchers believe that the compliments made them perform better. You . Do you feel genuine when giving compliments? I hate recieving compliments. You see a positive shift in your productivity and efficiency levels. Receiving a compliment with ease and comfort demonstrates the character attribute of self-confidence and self-value. Receiving praise from others elicits discomfort when it conflicts with one's existing belief system. No justifications, no change of subject. All you need to say is "Thank you" and smile! A smile is always welcome, and a "thank you" can never go wrong. A compliment should make you feel good, and it should also make the complimenter feel good. He might have been flustered because he wasn't accustomed to receiving compliments of that nature and was caught off-guard. Say thank you If you feel uncomfortable with compliments, a simple "thank you" is all you need to accept the kind words and validate the giver. Truth is, most of what we accomplish is due, in part, to the assistance of others. His widely respected . Nevertheless, if you believe that positive reinforcement is better than punishment, you may be motivated to change this. Remember that people are not obliged to compliment you on anything - if they did it . Given time, you'll feel it in your body, or you'll feel it. 338 opinions shared on Flirting topic. The desire for praise is obvious: Being told you're not good enough all the time takes a toll where you want to live up to the expectations and fail each time. But let's go back to how YOU can compliment your man in a way that really makes a difference in how he sees you, and how attracted to you he feels. Taking a heartfelt compliment with grace promotes a more positive way of life. How do you feel receiving them? Also, when someone else gives you a . Men and women are different in many ways, but there's one thing we all have been wired to seek: appreciation. There's also scientific proof that praise is an effective motivator. We'd love to hear them! If anyone can explain it or feels similar For example: If you believe that you're a boring person and someone tells you how interesting you are, you're going to feel uncomfortable with hearing this. Praise from one's partner can make someone with low self-esteem feel pressured to live up to . A 2012 study revealed that receiving compliments can help improve motivation and performance. Commending someone for a character trait, an achievement, or the effort that they put into doing something such as preparing a meal can go a long way. Now, how you let her down real easy, so her feelings aren't hurt? Use the Language of Acknowledging. Psychologist John Gottman most likely agrees. Use these journaling prompts to help you discover your feelings about compliments and to dig deeper on what may make you feel uncomfortable. Here are some possibilities for why receiving is often more difficult than giving: Defense against intimacy. This can help make sure that our compliments get the desired effect on people's moods, as well as help us get over that awkward feeling or trepidation about giving out affirmations. 3. Why Compliments are Powerful. It's quite the convoluted mess. Fight the urge to minimize the compliment by saying, "thank you, but". Person B: "You just haven't eaten Mike's food yet, now that's a good cook". For example: Person A: "You are a really good cook". The easiest way to grow and develop confidence is to give and receive kind and . ~ Mother Teresa. 1 - DON'T: Undermine The Compliment. If you minimize or completely deny the achievement . 1. This is the main reason why we rarely give or receive compliments. Do you have difficulty accepting compliments? Let's say that a woman 'digged' you, but you don't really like her, that way. Yes, it is possible because when compliments become excessive, this might lead to an expectation to receive compliments for all work that we do, and when the time comes that fewer people are paying attention to us, it might make us lose our original motivation and momentum to succeed. "Thank you, I really . There's this weird mixture of wanting praise, being embarrassed by it, and thinking the person wants something in return. You become less insecure. 48 adults were asked to learn and perform specific finger patterns, which involved pushing keys on a keyboard in a particular sequence, while their performance was timed. Rather than just telling someone they look nice, tell that person: "You look so handsome in that blue shirt you're wearing. DelGreco and Denes adopted a research-based definition of a compliment as "a speech act which . The first two of these strategies create a problem. Work to maintain good eye contact (don't stare-that's weird), lean slightly forward, and engage those around you with warm facial expressions. In other words, you make it clear, politely so, that the other person is wrong. If your understanding of love as a child was along the lines of something you earned by doing things for other people (developmental trauma), receiving a compliment can feel like a debt or an . Ok, here's another question. Many of us feel uncomfortable receiving praise because we don't want to appear egotistical and arrogant. Anna Bartter looks into the brain-boosting power of a compliment. Here are a few ways to respond to a compliment: "Thank you, it makes my day to hear that.". It just doesn't ring true with your belief system. There are some guys who automatically think it's flirting, other might just smile and say thank you. This is not dignified. Put me down. Before we start thinking about compliments and this nature of communication with others, I must begin by saying that it is something which can vary from person to person, their likes and dislikes, and the contexts they find themselves in. Or they might stammer and stutter like your guy did. Receiving praise can actually have a multitude of benefits. Share but Don't Transfer the Credit. We all want to be the star of our movie. Answer (1 of 3): If you feel there is something good about a certain person then you should compliment them. D., low self-esteem is the #1 reason we are so quick to reject a compliment. You learn more. Genuine appreciation is when you tell someone they're goo. One of the ways prospective daters attempt to build rapport is through the use of compliments. Ask a question Sometimes asking a follow-up question can help you better understand . A good compliment doesn't have to be related to one's appearance, Sussman says. Why do we feel this way? It matches your eyes." 4. Be grateful for all the beautiful things you have . According to Guy Winch, Ph. Around 70% of people in a survey associated feelings of embarrassment and discomfort with praise. If someone compliments you The best way to respond is to think about why they compliment you, if sincere, use it to your advantage or turn it off completely. Ever since I started to really focus on receiving compliments in a positive way, I've noticed other people undermining the compliments they are given and it makes me feel awkward for them!. There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread. 3 Tips for Receiving a Compliment. The most important thing is for it to be sincere. But you don't get burned to a crisp neither. This is not to be confused with arrogance/ego or selfishness. "I really put a lot of thought into this, thank you for noticing.". We do this without even noticing.